How to Be a Good Friend
f someone were to ask you what it means to be a good friend how would you answer? Would any of your friends come to mind as an example? Would you consider yourself to be a good friend? While there are many different ways to be a good friend, there are a handful of consistent traits that you’ll generally find in anyone who is one as well. The good news? These are traits that can be developed over time and usually, the more time and effort you put into being a good friend, the more of them you might attract. Do you recognize any of these traits? Keep reading for some of our favorite tips on how to be a good friend who deserves good friends in return.
Be someone that others can count on
Our society tends to center the idea of commitment the most when it comes to romantic relationships. However, all strong and healthy relationships require a level of commitment and work to maintain over time no matter how platonic or romantic they may be. Healthy friendships mean showing up, communicating if you can’t show up, and learning to make time for the people you care about especially if you carry the hope or expectation that they make time for you. This might look like showing up for celebrations, calling to check in, dropping by with their favorite lunch to congratulate them on a promotion, being on time for your weekly happy hour date, or simply just giving them your full attention when they ask for a listening ear.
Although it’s always healthy to maintain appropriate boundaries and take time for yourself as well, good friends show up! If you’re having trouble balancing your schedule to include time to intentionally build relationships, online counseling can be a time efficient way to receive support that will benefit your life and healthy relationships in many ways.
Honor boundaries and have your own
To counter balance the call to show up and show out in our friendships, instilling healthy boundaries in every relationship is key. Healthy friendships are no exception. Part of loving and respecting someone is being aware of their boundaries and honoring them. A good friendship means that you can depend on each other without being codependent. Boundaries are helpful for preventing this.
For example, while you might be happy to take a friends call at any time, it doesn’t mean you must be available 24/7 for any and every time they call. Or perhaps your friend has communicated that their work schedule is overwhelming at the moment and it may take them a day or so to return text messages. Respecting your friend’s boundaries might look like not getting mad or hurt if they can’t get back to you as fast as you’d like since they’ve communicated their capacity and the reason for it.
Give your loved ones space to grow
One thing that we can all count on forever is change. Times change, seasons change, and people change too. One of the most beautiful gifts you can give to a friend is space to grow and evolve without judgment. There are a number of reasons why the people we love change. Sometimes we are aware of the reasons, and sometimes we’re not. We fall in love with new music, discover new hobbies, lose passions, and find new ones. Healthy friendships based on mutual respect and love can weather the changes without shame while celebrating each new version of their friend.
Take hobbies as an example. Maybe you and your friend once bonded over pottery! Over the years your friend has become less interested in pottery but has become an incredibly skilled painter. You can easily still spend time together creating in different ways, while also showing interest in your friend’s enthusiasm for their newfound hobby without diminishing how special the old hobby was that you shared.
This could also pertain to seasons of life. Perhaps a friend you grew up with is now in the stage of starting a family while you are still single and very focused on your career. Although your personal priorities and goals are no longer the same, and your schedules are probably pretty different too, healthy friendships create space to connect in new ways despite life’s changes. Maybe Tuesday margarita night turns into Tuesday Facetime calls and Saturday night out becomes Saturday morning brunch. Ultimately, it’s up to you and your friends to commit to evolving together instead of away from each other but it is definitely both possible and worth it!
For more insight into healthy friendships and mental health, check out our past blog: 5 Things to Look For in a Healthy Friendship. If you’re looking for support on how to be a better friend and find better friends, feel free to contact us at Genesis Counseling to schedule an appointment.
