Healthy Coping Skills for Stress: What Actually Works
Stress is an inescapable part of life. Since we can’t always eliminate it or control how much stress we’re exposed to, we must focus on what we can control. How we respond to stress or cope with it can deeply impact our mental and emotional well-being. Our brain is wired to protect us and will often seek the fastest, simplest way to reduce discomfort and offload the effects of stress. However, some of these quick fixes, or unhealthy coping mechanisms, set us up for more pain and stress in the long run. Today, we’ll discuss healthy coping mechanisms, identifying them, and how to develop new ones that work for you. If you’re looking to build healthy coping skills, you’re in the right place!
What Are Healthy Coping Skills and Why Do They Matter?
In a nutshell, healthy coping skills are intentional strategies that you can use during high-stress moments to help regulate your emotions, reduce stress, and support your mental health. They help you stay grounded and choose responses that are helpful rather than harmful. Healthy coping generally involves a proactive response rather than a reactive response.
Why is this important? Chronic stress can be very hard on your mental and physical health. It’s important to learn to manage and reduce it to improve the quality and longevity of your life. While unhealthy coping strategies offer quick relief, there is usually a bigger issue to follow or at least unresolved issues from the initial stressor. When looking ahead to an overall healthy and balanced life, quick fixes aren’t the best choice when you have healthier, more powerful coping skills in your toolbox.
Identifying Healthy vs. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
When looking from the lens of “did this make me feel better” in the moment, it can be a little difficult to tell the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy coping mechanism. However, when you look a little deeper, it becomes easier to understand that simply “feeling better” isn’t always best in the long run. Quick fixes can cause stress later on.
For example, say you get into a pretty heated disagreement with a loved one. You’re feeling very attacked and like nothing is getting accomplished, so you storm out with no indication of where you’re going or if you’re coming back, and no resolution between you and your loved one. While escaping the stress of the fight might have offered some relief in the moment, you’ve created additional problems for when you return. It’s likely that your loved one is now hurt, scared, and even angrier than they were for the initial argument. Unhealthy coping mechanisms extend your discomfort through the problems and cycles that they create down the line.
A healthier version of this scenario would have been choosing to communicate with your partner that you’re in a headspace that can’t be reasoned with, and you need a break. Share your plan (I’m going on a drive/walk, etc), share when you expect to return to the conversation, and stick to it. This gives you both a chance to cool off without leaving one wondering where you are, if you’re safe, and with no chance to cool off themselves. See how taking two more minutes to communicate your needs before just leaving can help avoid a whole new argument hours later? This is an example of healthy coping skills. For more insight, check out our past blog: Learn the Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms.
Finding Coping Skills That Actually Work for You
When it comes to choosing your coping skills, it’s important to choose skills that really work for you. This may take some trial and error, but the key to building consistency and competency with a new skill is to choose a skill that aligns with your needs and personality. Some methods may be a “not right now”, while others might be a complete no. Coping skills for adults will be different than those for children and young adults, so make sure you’re looking in the right places or consulting with a professional.
There are different categories of coping mechanisms to consider as well:
Physical – going for a run, walking it off, taking a boxing class
Social – seeking the support of a therapist, talking with a friend, calling a loved one
Emotional – journaling, singing a song with relatable lyrics, crying it out
Cognitive – reframing your thoughts, challenging old narratives, repeating affirmations
The best part about making positive improvements in your coping skills or other difficult areas in life is that you don’t have to do it alone. You can request the support of friends and loved ones, but professional help is also available at Genesis Counseling of South Tampa. Please feel free to reach out if you’re ready to improve your coping skills for a happier and healthier future.
